“That sounds good enough to me”, she suggested. “Oh, good enough is NEVER good enough!” the other rebuffed. In her years as a psychotherapist, this sense of never being good enough sat alongside most of Gay McKinley’s clients. It, likewise, sat alongside herself for most of her life. It sits with too many of us who, despite great striving and life achievements, still don’t believe we are good enough. There is little written about it. Until now.
Through Gay’s clients’ courageous, inspiring and often heart-wrenching stories, she explores the subtle and not-so-subtle ways our ‘good enough’ selves get lost, stomped on or hidden away. Their stories traverse the crushing impact of trauma on our sense of self as well as those benign events that can equally crush our younger selves. They put the spotlight on the crucial role of being seen, acknowledged and validated. They highlight the danger in hanging on to our life mistakes – our ‘cloaks of sapphires’. They demonstrate how everyday experiences can reinforce this faulty belief. There are tales of failure and tragedy and, in spite of both, trust in the ‘good enough’ self.
Woven throughout is a candid exposé of Gay’s own journey of ‘becoming good enough’, the eerie parallels with her clients, and the way forward to reclaim that essential part of ourselves – our ‘good enough’ self. We all had it (once). What newborn babe is not good enough?
She has written these stories because it took her nearly 60 years to know that she is good enough. This book is for all those who don’t feel they are good enough in the hope that they come to know that they are.